Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Top Ten Surprises in "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

Like many people half my age -- okay, okay, 1/3 of my age -- I spent this weekend reading the seventh, and last, book in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. And while J.K. Rowling has made it clear that this book is much darker than the previous books in the series, many of the twists in the story line still took me by surprise. Please don't read this list if you haven't read the book yet; I don't want to spoil it for you.

THE TOP TEN SURPRISES IN HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

10. With Dumbledore gone, okay to use "waterboarding" curse.

9. Donald Rumsfeld finally gets job as Defense of Dark Arts teacher.

8. Butterbeer now available with no trans-fats.

7. Bald character added so Patrick Stewart can finally be in one of the damned movies.

6. Ravenclaw Tower demolished to make room for new Wal-Mart.

5. Weasley twins caught by their mom comparing wands.

4. Klingons unexpectedly arrive to fight Death Eaters at the last minute.

3. Right before final fight scene, Harry says "screw this" and joins Hogsmeade National Guard.

2. Hogwarts students master powerful new spell, Expecto uranus!

1. The real identity of Voldemort? Dick Cheney!

1 comment:

Scott Greenfield said...

Very good, even without naked pics of Paris, Posh or Hermine.